More stories....

What are we doing in these "show don't tell stories"?

In front of me are the ingredients for something that is really tasty. The ingredients that in front of are a mug with boiling water, something that involves Cadbury and some Milk. I mix them into cups and then I stirred them. Then I took a lllooonnnggg sip. It was delicious!

By Eli

I had a cup in my hand. I put some light coloured brown powder in it. Then I poured some milk in it. It made a bubble noise “bubble!!!” Then I poured some hot water from the jug . Then it makes a very yum drink.

By Baxter

I am in the Kitchen. I get the lid off the top of the tin. I get my spoon I scoop some glimmering, shining, brown Powder, I put it in my mug.  I get the boiling water and I put the boiling water in with the brown powder.  I mix them together with the spoon. I put the milk together then mixed them again until the powder was gone.  It was delicious.

By Brooke

One day I was in the kitchen. I looked on the bench and there was a tin of light brown powder. I saw a spoon on the bench, I put the brown powder in a cup. The cup was see through. I put the spoon in and started to stir. It went round and round. I looked at it I got dizzy and I nearly rolled over. I got the cup and started to drink it. It was empty! Oh no! it was the wrong one. 

By Toby

I get a piece of white bread. I get a jar of peanut butter. I get another piece of bread. I get a knife I put it in the butter and scoop the butter out. I scoop the peanut butter out and put it on top of the butter. I put the other piece of bread on top . I eat it. It was delicious. I made another one.  

Harlem

I got two pieces of bread and got a jar of jam – raspberry  and I got a knife and scooped out the jam and put it on the bread.  I put it on the other piece of bread and got both of them together and made the yum bread food.  Then I will make another one and this will be yummy, then the other one.

Jimace

Read these show don't tell stories and see if you can figure out what we are eating.

I got an oval green fruit thing. I put the green oval fruit thing on a plate and a spoon. I got a knife. I put it on the green oval fruit thing. I put the knife back and forward until it’s in two pieces. I get one and eat the white or cream colour inside.

By Harlem.

One day I went to my tree. I got and oval green thing. I put it on a plate then got a knife and cut the top and got a spoon and went around it. It was a fruit and I put it in my mouth. I ate a little bit at a time. I said “m m m m m “.

By Preston.

I had a tree. It had green stuff on it. It fell off the tree onto the ground. I picked it up and….. went inside. I got ….. a knife, splish the juice went from the fruit. It was yummy so I got another piece.

Toby G.

I have a green oval shape. Then I put the knife in. Then get a spoon and eat it. Mmm yum yum! I put the skin in the bin.

By Liam L.

I get an oval with bumps. It’s green and in my hand. In my other hand there’s a knife. “Cut, cut, cut, snap” goes the oval with bumps. I put it on a plate. I get a spoon and put the knife on a table nearby. I get out the white colour inside. I put it in my mouth. “Yuck”, I say. I get a drink of water “all better” I say. I go and get some more of this fruit outside “whomp, whomp, whomp” goes the sound of the oval with bumps “ sigh this is tiring”. I ask myself “Yes it is”. I go inside and show my mother.

By Finn.

When I was at home I had this oval green thing. It was a fruit, it’s in my hand. I put it on a plate. I had a knife in my hand. I split it into two pieces. I got my spoon and twirled it and put the spoon in my mouth. I took a big bit out of it, and swallowed it. I took the other green oval fruit and got my spoon again and took a humongous bite out of it. Then I swallowed it. It went down my throat and in my digestive system. All done.  I enjoyed it.

By Zak E.

I am holding something that is a fruit. It is bumpy and green! When you cut it open with a knife you can see a cream colour inside it. Some of them are hard, some of them are squishy! You definitely need a spoon for it. Some people bite the top and squeeze it. I put it in my mouth and it wasn’t good.

By Eli.

I have a green bumpy oval in my hand. I take a bite off the top of the fruit. I squeezed the two sides and some creamy white stuff came out then I eat it.  It’s bigger than an orange. It was delicious.

By Brooke.

Something is an oval shape, and it’s green. It’s a fruit. You hold it in one hand. You get a plate. You put it in the plate. You get a knife and you cut it in the middle. You get your spoon and you turn the spoon around. You put the fruit on your spoon. You put it in your mouth.

By Leyton.

Revolution tour

We were lucky enough to have a visit from the Revolution tour today.  They had an important anti-bullying message

Pink day

What are these children doing.

Reading the following stories.  These have been written to give you a clue about the activity the children are doing.  Can you guess what it is?

In the morning when I go to school I put on something. I put it over my head and pull it down. Then I put my left arm in and then my right arm in. Then I pull down the warm material from the bottom. At the end it messes up my hair!

By Josh.

I am in my room, ready to go to school. But I need to put something on first. I grab the thing and then held it upside down. Then I pulled it over my head. Plus it is smooth and fluffy and you put it over your tee shirt. And it’s poofy! And it’s stiff.

By Eli.

I am in my bedroom. I put a blue thing upside down and put it over my head. Then my left arm. Then my right arm. Then I pull the front down.

By Brooke.

Show don't tell

Can you tell what these show don't tell stories are about?

I have a plastic rubbery thing with an oblong with a circle at the end.  BBwooooooo!! Went the oblong with the circle at the end.  Bwooooo the oblong with the circle at the end.  I blew and blew….. now it started to look like a sphere.  Bwoooo- POP!!!!!!!  It went.  It no longer looked big but tiny bits on the floor.      By Finn

I’ve got something in my hand and it feels rubbery, plastic, full sphere, rubber thing.  At home when I don’t want the rubber thing, I pop it.  Did it.  Then all the air goes out.  Then I find a new one.  Then I blow the rubber thing, then that popped.    By Jimace

I got a prize from the good choices box.  I got a rubbery, plastic, oblong with a circle end.  I blew it up, and blew and blew, then it popped!  OOooorrr, now I don’t have a prize.      By Lucia

I have something in my hand.  It was a blue oblong with a circle end.  I expanded the oblong with a circle end.  It was made out of rubbery, plastic.  I blew up my oblong with a circle end.  When it was full of air I tied the end with a knot on the top of the oblong with a circle.  It kind of looks like a sphere.      By   Josh

I had a sister, she got a plastic rubbery sort of thing.  One afternoon I came home, it was a sphere sort of shape.  She was in the lounge.  Now my older brother had one.  The next day my Dad had one.  Then I had one….pop,  pop, pop, pop!  That was loud.     By Toby

Show don't tell stories

We are writing show don't tell stories.  We are trying to provide enough information so the reader can figure out what we are doing.  Here are another three stories.  Can you tell what activity we are doing?

In the morning I went to my bath room.  I twisted the tap.  It was cold.  I picked up something.   It was oblong and plastic.  It had bristles on it.  I put some red, blue and white stuff on the plastic oblong thing.  I pulled the cap off the thing.  And put it under the tap water.  I put it on my teeth.  I put it sideways on my teeth.  I do it at night and morning.  When I am done I look in my mirror and smiled.  They were clean.  I am happy!!!  Then I put the plastic oblong thing in a box.       By Zak

I was in the bath room.  I was near the sink.  I grabbed a plastic long oblong with bristles and an oblong tube with a cap.  Flicky.   The cap went up.  White and blue stuff came out.  I moved the oblong tube with bristles round and round and up and down.  This way and that way.   Spreading the blue and white stuff.  “There” I say. “All clean.”          By Finn

At night and in the morning I go into the bathroom to the sink.  I get the plastic long oblong with bristles and put on the white, red and blue stuff on the plastic long oblong stick. I put it into my mouth and go up, down, sideways and around.  I looked down and spit it into the sink.  I do it for two minutes.  I take a glass of water and gave it a big swallow.          By Josh

Catching skills

A perfect day for Room 3 to be practicing

their catching skills.

Show don't tell stories

We are learning to write "show don't tell stories".  In order to be clever writers we need to give clues to the reader of where we are or what we are doing.  "Show don't tell" stories give clues by being clever with our vocabulary and our sentences.

Can you tell what these "show don't tell" stories are about?

I was playing on the adventure playground. I climbed up the ladder and sat down when I got to the top. Then sat down and pushed.  I went up and down because it was bumpy. When I got to the bottom I went around, it was fun. I slipped down very fast.

By Bryn.

I am on the adventure playground! I climbed up the really small ladder onto the wooden platform. And then I turned to my left past the ball spheres. And climbed another small ladder.  And held onto a small bar. My bottom slid down some blue plastic onto the ground.

By Eli.

I was at these metal bars. I climbed up the bars to a wooden platform. I saw ------more bars. I climbed up the bars to another platform. There was a metal bar at the top. I swung on the bar. “Weeee. !!” I said. I landed on a blue thing it was long and had two things on the blue thing. It was going down I landed on stones.

By Finn.

I am in the playground. I climb up the ladder to the platform. Then I turned and climbed up the other three steps. Then on another platform.  Then turned and sat down. Then I pushed and slipped down the blue thing and landed on some stones and stood up.

By Brooke.