Thursday, 7 May 2015

Show don't tell

Can you tell what these show don't tell stories are about?

I have a plastic rubbery thing with an oblong with a circle at the end.  BBwooooooo!! Went the oblong with the circle at the end.  Bwooooo the oblong with the circle at the end.  I blew and blew….. now it started to look like a sphere.  Bwoooo- POP!!!!!!!  It went.  It no longer looked big but tiny bits on the floor.      By Finn
I’ve got something in my hand and it feels rubbery, plastic, full sphere, rubber thing.  At home when I don’t want the rubber thing, I pop it.  Did it.  Then all the air goes out.  Then I find a new one.  Then I blow the rubber thing, then that popped.    By Jimace

I got a prize from the good choices box.  I got a rubbery, plastic, oblong with a circle end.  I blew it up, and blew and blew, then it popped!  OOooorrr, now I don’t have a prize.      By Lucia

I have something in my hand.  It was a blue oblong with a circle end.  I expanded the oblong with a circle end.  It was made out of rubbery, plastic.  I blew up my oblong with a circle end.  When it was full of air I tied the end with a knot on the top of the oblong with a circle.  It kind of looks like a sphere.      By   Josh


I had a sister, she got a plastic rubbery sort of thing.  One afternoon I came home, it was a sphere sort of shape.  She was in the lounge.  Now my older brother had one.  The next day my Dad had one.  Then I had one….pop,  pop, pop, pop!  That was loud.     By Toby

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